3 servers, one keeps polling

2 questions
have 3 pcs with plex, if one is off I noticed that keeps iintermittently timimg.
Is this normal and if so can how often be controlled ?

Is there a way to control which server is listed first ?

It is normal and no, it cannot be customized.

Which client and at which menu or screen?
If you mean the web app and its left side bar, after pressing ‘MORE’: alphabetically sorting of the “friendly name” (set that under Settings - Server - General)

If you mean the very first screen of any app, you can customize that.
First, reset it and then decide on a default server:
https://support.plex.tv/articles/customizing-the-mobile-apps-2#reset
https://support.plex.tv/articles/customizing-the-apps#reset
https://support.plex.tv/articles/customizing-plex-web#resethome

After doing that, you can customize which library of which server is shown by default, in which order.